Whenever I follow the steps into hypnosis, I feel myself lifting and drifting. It's kinda that state between awake and asleep. Obviously it relaxes the person totally, but it also calms your whole being. It's like being in some protective cocoon. It's peaceful and I am always just in silent stillness. Today I simply tried to clear my mind, no agendas. I am told often to just focus with my subconscious self on whatever appears. Not to try to imagine anything, just let the images come into my vision. Sometimes it feels like I am watching a movie from afar--or sometime it's more like I am seeing with my own eyes. Today's clear sharp vision was very unexpected. I saw myself as a baby crying. I was just dazzled by the image of myself. I held it as long as I could before my analytical mind interrupted the trance. The statement given to me on the CD always says "you will now journey back to a memory from a past having a significant impact on your life today." Seeing myself crying and nose running as a baby- I was just astonished--that snapped me away from the image and I had to relax all over again. As I was looking at a home with a picket fence and a porch swing I saw a women up close in profile. She had medium length brown hair and reminded me of someone in the 1950's. She meant nothing to me, or better yet, I do not feel any close association with her. I then saw a car ( I don't know makes and models) the car was light green, and had a different color top, maybe white. He had on what looked like a bomber style leather jacket- his hair was kind of greasy on purpose, like he used a styling mixture. He was unloading something out of the car. It looked like gifts or boxes. As I tried to identify him- again my mind popped me away from the scene. After being unable to calm myself into a trance I awoke.
I am so new at this and I am really just trying to allow my mind to float. I guess it will take time to just experience the images that are playing out and then teach myself to analyze upon awaking.
I am always very refreshed yet disoriented. Today I was still buzzed about seeing myself as a small baby- I looked very young maybe a year old. I had on a dress of blue, I had blond hair, blue eyes. So amazing to know without a doubt it was ME. My parents have no real clear photos of me as a baby. They stopped keeping baby photos after baby number 4...I am #5 out of 8.
Why am I doing this? Much has happened in my life. I see patterns and I am always having amazing experiences that seem to just come into my life for a season. I want to know what I am supposed to take from these. I am not a teacher, nor have I ever wanted to be one...I am a learner. So this is my new "find some reason damn it" season.
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