The ME in my Akashic Record

Wow. I am not even going to try and explain all of this. There are few words that could assist me.
I will say that this is the strongest message I have ever received that I am to write. I will be widely published. Really...me? And so I shall start writing. My dilemma has always been where to start. I was told there is no beginning end or middle. Just write and tell the world all that you have experienced.

My gift.
Communication is my spiritual gift. Well, I kinda figured this would come out. I engaged in public speaking to encourage adult education to people who felt they were beyond the age of college. I have spoken up for battered and abused women, to large groups, churches and even at the state level to the NJ District Attorney. I have spoken to children and students regarding following their passion to fulfill their dreams. I myself was told I could not go to art school (by my father) because I would "never make it". Only to travel 180 miles RT daily to attend an art school in Philadelphia, PA with two children at home, while going through a divorce at the age of 34. I went on to finish at the top of my class and was hired within 6 months by a professional sports team where I worked for 10 years :) So yes, I have lots of inspirational stories in my heart. I work as a graphic designer and have learned to use all forms of visual communication, web, print, video... and illustration.

My doorkeeper.
I was given the name and complete description (even down to her wardrobe) of my doorkeeper and I cannot stop smiling about this. ELSIE MARIE BLACKWOOD from York, England. She lived during the time of 1546. She wears a blue grey dress to the floor with brown felt-like slippers on her feet. She died very old and she took in many many children. She has a unique relationship to me through my ancestry. This to me, is the connection of my genealogy fixation. I started getting obsessed with my family tree around 2001. Elsie has been with me a long time. Yes, I talk to her all the time. Thankfully now I have her name.

My name.
My spiritual name Hhyabhalashiy means "bringer of the universe". The name is empowered by a spiraled galaxy emanating in blue white gaseous clouds with many thousands of planets and stars.

Water.
I am a medium. I have strong intuitive powers that once I learn to connect to them will be through water. I will be able to place my hands in water and be able to sense or connect with the journey of this water and the spirit and energy which has passed through it. I need to physically surround myself with water--live near it. And yes, I have always lived very close to the ocean.

Meditation.
I was told to practice a deeper type of meditation no more than 15 mins daily. With no communication, no asking or seeking anything. Practice letting go of all thoughts and to sit in silence. This mechanism is the way for me to connect with my higher consciousness without all the noise, that I myself have brought to the meditation.
I can only say this. It was such a rewarding experience for me. It was amazing to hear Gregory tell me about my trials and accounts I have experienced over the years. There is no prophecy--there is understanding and clear direction. I encourage all that would like to discover this for themselves to do some research into their own Akashic Records.
If I do not post for a while it is because I am going to start writing. Thank you for reading my blog. I hope it helps you find your own path. I will return from time to time, but for now I need to start placing my energy elsewhere.  Please let me know if I have helped you.

Why am I so Thirsty?

As I was in my Delta state this morning, I was debating whether or not to rise and go to work or try to meditate. My attitude, of late, has been more relaxed. I feel as if I have been "trying" to hard. I have taken some time off from this morning routine, and so today I took a new approach.
I started to talk to spirit guides.
"I know you are there." I saw their lights of robin egg blue appear, I saw water sparkling beyond them. Always the same sparkling water. It's beautiful and relaxes me even deeper.

"What message do you have for me today?"
LOVE.
This came through very strong.
Ok, love what?
YOURSELF.
Ok, so here I am feeling blue about the holidays and maybe this is just my imagination. "Fine", I said, "thanks." Now the light became incredibly intense and I said...."Teach me something that will help me today."
I went through the light. I was standing in a dark dirt floored room. My boyfriend Dean was with me along with a young woman I have worked with in the past, named Lauren. We were on a mission.

He was leading the way. Instinctively we knew we had to go to a specific place where we would be able to complete our mission.
We were accompanied by a small animal, I never saw the animal it growled like a dog. I was troubled because there were people about and we needed to get by them unseen. We had to go up a rocky steep overgrown, very green and plush area on the side of what appeared to be a mountain. It was daylight and it was cold. "They won't see us", he said.

We all went together, as if we just floated above them and we were invisible to them. I think we were naked, and that was the other reason I was troubled. It was necessary to be naked in order to do this and I didn't want them to become alarmed. We arrived at the top of this area and Dean led us into an opening in mountain. It looked much like the dark earth covered room we began in. It smelled damp and felt cold and icy. Lauren and the animal were searching around for something. I said to Dean, "how will we find it?" He said, "we will just know it when we find it--it will come." He was circling around and finally he said "here, over here." "Oh" I said "like this"--I stepped into a whirling vortex. It was amazing, my body became energy infused with the earth's energy and I was standing in what can only be described as a pot or enclosure of liquid that was spinning and pulling me downward into and through the ground.Wow, I thought it was amazing. I was not spinning just slipping down through the earth and darkness, totally aware that I was completely safe as I descended. Dean was having trouble. "Something's wrong, the "       " is not working and I need to get out. ( He called it a name, I do not recall this now)
"Just jump" I said, " you will land on solid ground." As we both jumped out of this tubular device filled with liquid, we were cold naked and totally drenched. Lauren and he were looking at their feet where black clothes appeared suddenly. They were made of something like fine black silk. I stood there naked with my arms raised, just knowing instinctively that my clothes would appear. "You are beautiful", Lauren said...look at you." I was watching as my skin dried and my clothes simply dried onto my body. It started at my feet and then they just simply appeared as my skin dried they replaced the wetness. "How did you do that?" Dean asked. "I just knew it" I said.
Next we were in another dark area. Our job or assignment was to secure the area. It was pitch black and we could not use any lights. Our small animal friend was in the room with us growling. I was talking sweetly trying to calm him. He suddenly bit down on something and we lost what little power we had, I think he did it intentionally, and he was growling because he knew it was his job and it would bring some pain. Now all was silent. The animal was still, the room we were keeping secure was in total darkness. I was in a bed and Dean was asleep beside me. As I lay my head down and closed my eyes I was taken to an amazing place. (This place was EXACTLY like the vision I had in my post on being HUNTED. I will put a link to that below.)
As the vision came into view it was a brilliant clarity. Stronger than my eyesight has ever been in my lifetime. Colors are intense it is like seeing in my perfect eyes, and living as I was meant to. This is what it feels like and seems like when I see these visions. I was seeing this dark place we were now in the sleeping area of, in the daylight--as it started to appear I yelled to Dean-"come here, now, I'm having a vision", I said to him. "You can see it and tell me now?" he asked.  "Yes, it is exactly like my vision before". I began to describe everything I was seeing.
I was above the scene, like an out of body experience. The man we had been trying very hard to "get something from" (this is the best way I can describe it, as I had a knowing that we had just been given something we had tried very hard and long to accomplish) was showing a crowd of people what WE had just acquired. I saw a group of people. Some young, some old, several children running and playing. They seemed to be gathered together in a picnic style gathering. "Dean", I said, "it's ours, we GOT it!"
"Are you sure, how do you know?" He's showing them all. The man is uncovering objects. They appear to be in a frames, he is taking a covering off of them and turning them over and standing them on their sides. They do not look very special, but I know that they are very valuable. They look like frames about 4' by 4' covered with a material that looks like carpeting. The people are smiling and helping him with his task. "Everyone knows, it's finally ours." I say. The man then stands and walks to what is the side of a huge cliff, very high up. A beautiful vista.

From this breathtaking height, it slopes off to a huge body of water in the background. The body of water is so large it appears endless with a mist covering it n the background. "Oh", I say to Dean "this is it, this is what we were hoping for, it comes with the water!" The image begins to melt and I know it is over.
"It's gone now." I say.
I then come out of the trance and I am in my room here with Dean asleep beside me. I wake him and tell him everything. "Go write it now", he says. Before I leave the room, I recall the vision....within a vision. It was about a water source, I say. This was the mission. We needed to secure a water source, and we did.

This is the post I referred to earlier. These two were the exact in that I knew I was in a different space and place and time then a dreamworld. It is hard to put into words the intensity of what I saw, felt, smelled and just sensed with a"knowing". HUNTED

A Pause

I have been doing a lot of wondering...about myself. Who I am. Where I came from. It reminded me of the small tiny cocoon I had been watching outside my window.
For years I have lived in this cocoon fast asleep. Unaware that my energy was waiting for me to tap into it. Recently I have discovered I had wings. Slowly they are unfolding. They appear wet and I am still in the drying phase. I am trying to get off the ground. Reading, meditating and taking time to pause.

I have no destination. I don't know my way. I am searching and carefully following my instincts. Although I appear unsure as I am gathering my wings, one thing is certain. I WILL fly.

Exploring my Akashic Record

As I have previously mentioned I have been following the work of Gregory Haye with spiritualists Mick and Sylvia Avery. How did I discover this? I believe I was led to listen to Gregory's messages on the radio, by my guides. When I meditate I am always asking for clear direction. I want to know my purpose. My gifts and talents--what are they, and how should I be using them in this life? I know that I am connected to a higher Source. Crap, I have been talking to this Source since I was very young. I would lean back on my swing and talk to the sky...I would ride my bike to my "secret spot" where I felt safe and alone and could communicate without fear of ridicule. My guides led me to download these podcasts which are broadcast in the UK. And now I have finally made an appointment after listening to well over 20 of his 45 min. programs.

I have many questions to ask Gregory. Do I think he will have all the answers?  No I believe I hold the answers and I am starting to discover them within myself. But I do believe this is another tool to assist me in unlocking my beautiful Spirit. I look forward to this with an open heart. I hope I can help others by what I discover.

A Visit from My Mind

Meditating has been such a rewarding experience for me. I can see that it has become a necessary part of my daily routine...very natural, like breathing.
As I stated in earlier posts, I have the best results during my Delta state at early dawn. I had such an unusual vision that I needed a few days to sort it out. As I write this I am still sorting this out.
It always begins the same for me. Not always...as in the first days, weeks or even months when I began, but since I came back from the Omega training with Dr. Weiss. I begin to ask for protection for myself and encase myself in a white light. As I am talking to myself I ask my Spiritual Guides for assistance and ask my Angels to teach me something. I also ask to see something of my past that will explain who I am today. This always begins with me seeing sparkling water.

As if I am moving over it from above I am traveling. It dances with twinkling lights of reflection. This tells me that I will soon see an image. If I do not see an image I stay with this and begin to ask questions. As I ask questions sometimes a light will appear and sort of wave across my vision or grow bright robin egg blue. As I was watching the flickering lights on the water, I realized I would not be going on a journey in time. I started to address my Guides and Angels and asked for help. Can you help me? What is my purpose, my task? Why has my Soul come? The dancing water darkened and the vision went perfectly black. I was silent as I watched the darkness, just enjoying the stillness. And then without really realizing what was happening I saw a book. It appeared in the top left of my "screen" (I think in graphic design mode, forgive my description) and it was slid down. It was a shiny gloss cover and it had white lettering. The title read "I KNOW" as I read the title I was surprised as it then slid off the same way it came. I asked...is this MY book? Is this a book I need to read? What is this book?

I have been writing a book, it is in rough outline and my story is unfolding. And in an instant a voice spoke very clearly spoke.
"You will learn to eat" with laughter following. The laughter was like many voices recorded and played at warp speed.  I was astonished. I will learn to eat?
I stayed with this dark blank screen and asked a few more questions. I heard nothing more. I saw the water appear once again but it just remained. I always feel as if I am above it just moving over it looking down upon it.
I thanked my Guides and Angels and said goodbye. I brought myself awake telling myself I would remember all of what I saw and feel refreshed. As I laid there pondering my experience I was still in disbelief. I HEARD A VOICE--with laughter!.....I SAW A BOOK--slid to me in a way that it felt as if it was presented to me.
The book said I Know. Is this me telling myself I Know? After having some interesting regressions and trying to piece those visions together, this has really baffled me. I never expected this....a message from ME.

6th Sensory Living

I am beginning to become more aware of my intuitive nature. I just thought it was everyday common sense. But I am starting to pay attention to the synchronicities in my daily living. Patterns that keep appearing. Like stars...and starfish.  Small messages from my higher self. Upon daily meditation I now ask to heighten my vibration of energy, to connect with my spiritual guides. It makes perfect sense that this web site which broadcasts people like Gregory Haye, would have been placed in my path. Perhaps you are curious, perhaps you will have disbelief. But if you would like to have a glimpse of what a medium is channeling from a Spiritual Guide who gives great insight, you may want to spend some time with Gregory Haye.

Dragonflies seem to follow me everywhere. Even indoors.

As I work on my artwork, I often listen to the radio or beautiful music. I have just recently started listening to these podcasts with Gregory and this is helping me get in touch with my 6th sense. I used to believe this sense was for special "gifted" individuals. I am slowly waking up to my own abilities... abilities which we ALL have and are created with.
For many years dragonflies have appeared in the most unusual circumstances. Although I do not see anything magical about them. For me they have become like friends that are connected to me. Perhaps they come to direct me to my spiritual guides. Perhaps they like my scent, or I am imagining all of this, it doesn't really matter. They always bring a smile. A constant reminder that I am never alone.
Link to Gregory Haye Podcast.

I was Hunted

I will take time off from writing about Omega because I had an experience I need to get down on paper--or cloud so to say.

As you know, if you have been following my blog, I practice self hypnosis daily. My best sessions, the ones that are the clearest (no-fog, no hazy blurry images, no partial grayness) come at my Delta state each morning. I am not awake nor asleep. My subconscious mind is front and center my analytical self in the background. Two days ago I saw a computer screen with my entire life in sections on the page. Like NPR or some media station with all of the categories. Headline was my name, only it started with a V. Small sections of Family, Career, School all a click away. I was amazed as I scrolled and saw my birth date off to the side with a link. I scrolled and saw a photo of a man who looked Arabic frowning back at me. That was all I saw before quickly coming awake (morning noises woke me.) Yesterday I saw a filing cabinet with hanging files. Each file was a sleeve with CD's containing data...MY DATA. Each one labeled...childhood, school, relationships. I was just astonished at this and again I woke as morning sounds filtered into my consciousness.
Today was something that was altogether different. It felt what I can only describe as supernatural.
 I found myself in a loft in straw, it was black and children were with me whimpering and crying. I was trying to calm them and quiet them as I knew we were being hunted. I saw a light outside through the opening in the barn. We were up above and someone with a light was searching for us. The children were older and some were females. I knew instinctively I was a young boy.

Suddenly and very intensely I was in a field. The colors were so vivid. It was the morning after a storm. A huge gnarled tree with a very large root protruding was to my right. I was aware that I had actually regressed and kept saying to myself.."you are here...you made it" I looked at my feet, I was wearing small boots, I was in a sort of uniform with a neck scarf. I was being hunted by a man. He was a German military man. He wore a trench coat. He smoked cigarettes. I smelled the dampness of the ground and felt the fear of being hunted. I was running and all the time amazed at the color of the sky. It looked like indigo ink spilled down into pinks. The tree was bare of leaves and it looked skeletal against the forbidding background. The grass was tall and green. Next I was high above myself and watched this man cross the stream back and forth following me.

A close up showed me him smoking and rubbing two coins together. I knew immediately he had stolen them from me. I recognized his face as someone in this current life. Someone who has abused me in the past. The realization was just that--a fact. I didn't analyze it, my training with Dr. Weiss told just experience the regression and let it unfold watch and remain quiet. I kept seeing myself as a young boy in a type of uniform trying to escape this military man. I did not feel like we were related. He was not a brother or father or anyone I had a feeling for. I never felt German. I knew I was trying to get away. I saw from above the distance between us closing. It's as if this unraveled in normal motion but in a jump ahead in time.
And then morning noises interrupted me and my trance was broken. I tried to slow my breathing as I was in an excited state. I tried to calm myself back into a deep state, but it was useless.
Now is the time for the analyzing. I thought about where I was, I never asked myself while in the trance for a location, or my name, or the name of the man chasing me. I have been taught that I can always go back and relive that experience to glean more information. And so I will.
Later in the afternoon I did another meditation, this one for healing of loved ones and myself. I saw an image of a train car on tracks. It was an old train. I saw nothing else.
This is the beginning of my discovery into finding who I am. My soul's journey is unique because there is only one me. I hope by doing this I can help others with healing. I hope that by writing this blog it will help others find their own path to inner peace.

Helen was a Jedi

The morning was crisp and I made my way to breakfast. Coffee and I are soul mates. I splashed some half n' half and found a seat near smiling people. Buzzing room chatter was our morning music--I happened to like this station...so I tuned in. People were discussing their various classes. I saw animated figures recalling their experiences with flaying hands attached to attentive heads who were all ears. This  was one of the most enjoyable parts of the day. Just being with a group of people so happy to be alive.

I headed for the Main Hall and took my place between my two pals Rachel from Ireland, and Helen from Long Beach, CA. Helen is always all smiles-she is radiant. We each bring a bottle of water-which one of us always ends up spilling...we say "did you wet yourself..or did I?" I was all excited to see her because the night before I had a dream about the future...and she was in it! The dream was so enthralling I awoke wanting to draw or paint what I had seen. It was in a neighborhood on Halloween. Many children and parents were bustling about. Each parent was with a child in a hovering craft. The floated above the ground and they were designed to match the costume. I watched several go by me. Each unique and very colorful with themes matching the costumes. As a Jedi woman walked past me she was holding the hand of a small boy. He was about four and dressed as a Wookie climbing into the seat beside his mother. It was Helen! The Helen that was sitting next to me each day at Omega. I studied the craft and how it intertwined with her costume. A jungle of camouflage. It was as if the scenery blended into their costumes or they into it--not sure. As I now sat beside Helen I recalled the dream. "I want that painting!" she said. We laughed and yet I thought about the concept of what the dream was about. It was something perfect for a children's Sci-Fi book. I have also had these dreams of amazing ideas from time to time and I have to rise from my bed and sketch what I have seen. This was one of those times. We were told to tell others if we saw them in our daily meditations or dreams. And so I told Helen and she just sat and laughed. She has a infectious laugh and we had to shush ourselves lest we disturb our neighbors all preparing for today's workshop.

I wrote this on our board to inform our group

 We did a morning session of regression and meditation. It was the same for me. I saw leaves, trees, water, and a forest. I awoke and felt frustrated. No people. Dr. Weiss always tells us to look at our feet...no feet for me...look at what your wearing...cannot see myself...look around you are there people?...nope, no people...just lots of leaves and water and sun and earth.

We took a break and he asked the audience for a volunteer to try a rapid induction method. I raised my hand as I was eager to try this method. I had read about this, knowing I had a strong analytical mind, I always had to send that part of my brain to the back of the room so I could just experience and not think about what I was seeing. He looked at me and said--"Oh that was quick, do you want to come up?" I nodded and he invited me up on stage. Crap...I forgot there would be people watching me. My mouth went dry and my heart beats became so loud I was sure his microphone would pick them up. What do I do now? I want to do this..but shouldn't they draw a curtain or something? Yikes...
...to be continued

No Gardens for Me

I detoxed myself from television back in 2005...so my "unplugged" experience was refreshing. I saw a woman from our group in the middle of a field close to our workshop trying to use her cell phone. It was a large empty field with her cradling her tiny metal world connector straining to reach earth. I yelled over to her "can you hear me now?" She smiled and gave me the "V" sign...a Verizon response to the question. Funny, that ad must still be running...either that or my mental powers are kickn' in :)

Omega's Falling Leaves-Photo by Linda Connolly

The morning session began with Carole leading us on a wonderful journey of meditation. I was drifting through the trance and my mind danced over images of flowers she was directing us through. She named each plant as they were arranged according to their colors. The room was quiet, music softly playing all of us lying in a dark room relaxed. As I was doing the meditation I asked a question to my spiritual guides (the ones I knew were there but have never seen) and I was given a response. My question was simple--what do you want to show or tell me at this moment? Softly I heard murmuring as if several people were talking--I started to feel my analytical mind question this--are people around me talking during meditation? Then an answer very clearly--a thought repeated over and over..."You are loved, You are missed...You are loved, You are missed" My eyes began to tear up as I thought of my parents who have both passed. I miss them dearly and I have been visited in my dreams occasionally by my father--assuring me he is well and loves me. The session ended and my pal Rachel shared what she saw, people around the room were now softly talking as it was time for a break.

Can you hear me now field? -photo by Tammy Bassrey

The afternoon session was really enlightening. Carol chose a volunteer to place into a trance and we watched the process. The volunteer was a women named Cindy who has been suffering with back pain. This is done to show us the technique used to place someone into a deep relaxed state. Then the person leading will ask questions and allow the patient to discuss what they are seeing. The person in the trance can wake anytime, although they sometimes feel anxiety, every regression is always done step by step. "Is it ok if we go back to a childhood memory?" " Is it ok if we explore what happened to you later?" Always slowly with full permission. Cindy's experience was dramatic as she was describing being crushed onto a train during the Holocaust. Torn form her children and watching her loved ones slowly die, her story was one I was very familiar with (I have personally worked with Holocaust survivors and many are friends). She was born in Poland she was as a nurse and her husband was a Dr. They eventually perished in the camp.  She was emotional and so were the rest of us observing her. She awoke and there was a question and answer time. I was touched by her sincerity. I feel as if everyone of us was beside her, our energies uniting to comfort her.
I went to lunch and sat with amazing people. I think if I only had the food on the menu to look forward to, I would have lost 20lbs easily. But the people who I conversed with were the most savoring part of each meal. We laughed and cried...and then nibbled on tofu...and lettuce...and sunflower seeds.
The afternoon session was a wonderful regression for us. I had been seeing leaves, babbling brooks, waterfalls, trees, streaming sun, fluttering shadows, rocks...and today..more of the same. Dr. Weiss told me to go to a staircase, I found a step ladder. He told me to find a garden...I found leaves and mud. He said look at the door and enter it...mine was a window. I entered and found myself in a circular brick tower with black iron gates. Crap...no people...stuck in a a stoned tower. I awoke and just felt curious. What is with me? Do I have a problem following his direction...nope I have listened to CDs and have worked with a therapist. Every induction they tell me to imagine a garden, or door or stair case... good luck...I obviously am wired to find the opposite. Oh well, I am learning to ignore them and go off on my own. Hell, mud and leaves are better than complete darkness. Maybe my garden is just Nature.
I wandered to dinner where I found myself drawn to certain energies in the room. Did I say drawn? So, am I actually starting to tune into my Vibes? Oh...so maybe something is clicking after all. ...to be continued

A Witch Sat Beside Me!

Rachel, Monica-Mona and Lorraine

The next day I rose, showered freezing my butt off as I dried myself practically seeing my breath in our 1 bedroom, 2 full size beds, 2 dressers and our own bathroom cabin. Little did I know this was like a 5 star hotel room compared to what some of my classmates were staying in. Their rooms were as big as my coat closet :)
I donned warm clothes and headed to breakfast. Loved this daily routine of walking through the tree-lined path with leaves changing. The only thing that changes in Key West is the tourist’s license plates...
I found a table with some people and we chatted. Food was pretty much the same daily. All vegetarian, which is fine since I am a vegetarian but...it seemed too darn healthy ALL the time! I overheard a guy at the juice counter saying if they don't put out a sweet item he will be killing someone tonight--YIKES!
I made my way to the Main Hall where my workshop was held. Many murmuring people were looking for seats or meditation back jacks. I found a back jack and said hello to my two new neighbors. Helen on my left originally from China now in the states, and Rachel on my right from Ireland. Dr. Weiss and Carole began the morning with having all of us identify our occupations and ourselves. Clearly this was to show us the diversity of the group as we were from all corners of the planet. Most of us NOT from the US. How awesome!
The first half of the morning they went over house rules--no fighting over your claimed real estate in the room...apparently he has done this for 20 some odd years and he was telling us of his past escapades. He spoke of people being jealous and upset because the others were having regressions and they drew a blank. How to always remember not to come with expectations--we are here for the experience. He spoke of how many people were turned away and how there were over 100 on the waiting list. It made me think of my own experience--I had asked online to be put on the waiting list in August and two weeks before this Oct 17th session I got the call. Wow. He said we were all supposed to be here for an appointed moment in time to combine our energies and open our minds to come closer to enlightenment. Hell, I've needed this all my life--I was grinning ear to ear.
We did our first group regression and I was able to reach a nice quiet space. It was filled with images of trees, leaves, brooks, and sunlight, water...with no people. I woke refreshed and listened as others in the room asked questions and some shared what they had seen, felt, heard and even smelled. Goose bumps were all over the room. I welcomed them.
We broke for lunch and Rachel told me about this amazing woman Mona who was studying to be a Shaman. She told me to join them for lunch. As Mona neared she broke into a smile that covered her tiny face...it was the Monica I had met my first night there...the X-nun. I started laughing, "her name is Monica" I said. "Oh", Rachel replied I thought it was Mona." Monica just sat there all excited, "Well, once I took a course and I,”was  Mona for 2 days to try the name out." We all just fell apart. This woman had me in stitches. All 4' 8" of herself.
The second part of the day we did another regression. This time we exchanged a personal object before the regression. Rachel and I exchanged our necklaces.

This symbol appeared in a stained glass reflection on floor.

It was eerie. I saw a hill or a cliff overgrown in ivy or green vegetation. An old door with a round glass window with a heavy lead patterned covering. I saw a woman in a black floor length cape with black stockings and black shoes walking slowly from the rear. She came to a room. It had an opening in the roof where a light poured in. I could not see her face. I felt her fear. Next I saw a pattern appear on the floor as if the light was streaming through stained glass and it was reflecting all around her on the floor. Then I saw something drop and her feet were dangling. She was hung. I felt cold. Then I saw slimy cold stone steps that led to dry leaves. A small baby's bare feet were standing in the leaves. Then I awoke.
Rachel was all excited..."What, what...tell me...what did you see?" Oh geez, now what. Ok so I stalled. "You go first."  I saw a happy blond child on the beach making a pose like this”. she then struck a pose that looked like "TADA." "I saw a tambourine, and a cross." Crap, I used to sing in a Christian Band and played a white tambourine. "What color tambourine?" I asked. "White" came the reply. Well the only childhood beach photos have me doing hands stands. I was always doing cartwheels and flipping around.
I told her what I saw and her eyes grew large. Crap.  "I hate heights, was the place high up?" she asked. High up? high up?...she had a lot more to be afraid of in my opinion. "Umm, it looked like it was on a cliff, but I saw a woman who was HUNG." "Yeah, she said...huh."
I wanted to tell her it really seemed like a witch hanging...but I'm no expert. I did see a weird symbol on the floor in that colored glass pattern. I haven't a clue about symbols, witches. Or healers, I should say, of this era. We then listened to what the people around the room were experiencing. Visits from relatives that had passed! Oh man...and I had a cross and a tambourine... how very vanilla of me, and here I am sitting next to a WITCH!
Dinner followed with Rachel and I joining Monica-Mona, as we then forever more referred to her, and we three headed off to a Shaman's class.
To be continued...

Omega Journey Begins

I arrived by car. After checking in I began to stroll around the property...more like an Oasis. Internet service is only at the Cafe, next to zero cell signal--you are totally UNPLUGGED. Sweet.
My accommodations for the week were practically sitting next to the building where the workshop was held. We had daily 20 min breaks during the class and I probably could have stepped next door and taken a quick shower if I wanted to :)
I found my way to the Dining area and sat down next to a few people and we exchanged introductions. Little did I know I would be hanging out with this tiny firecracker posing as a woman training to be a Shaman. Oh did I mention she used to be a Nun... for TWENTY YEARS...ummm yeah. I think if she stood on her toes she would come up to my chin. Her husband was just there to drop her off and her eyes were sparkling as she was telling me about Omega...she's a LIFER. Apparently she has taken many classes--she even had a few COUPONS tucked in her bag. It was like meeting Bob Barker getting inside tips on which door to pick. We parted and I knew we would meet again.
After attending the orientation inside the Main Hall led by an Omega staff member, I wandered to a class up the hill. It was a fun class on play. Basically an ice breaker teaching us to enjoy the interaction playfully among strangers. There were probably 25 people there gathered from other workshops. Later I would run into them during the week and we would grin at the memory of playing silly games. In one game I was partnered with two people speaking gibberish to each other while I interpreted. Person 1 squawked something like popping and burping noises while I interpreted "She thinks your brother's hot can you fix her up?" Person 2 said "yes but he's really strange in his choice of women." I took them through this situation where the woman was trying to find a way to impress him, what to wear, special new hair do etc...I told her she's have to work hard since he was blind...maybe try a nice perfume. It was funny, I actually found myself good at the PLAY class...hmmm kinda why I flunked math in school...
I went back to my room and met my bright eyed, dark haired roommate. Mayukoy was in her 30's and traveled from Japan wearing a permanent smile. Oh thank God she wasn't a Weiss groupie...I don't think I met one there :)

Mayuko and I sitting in front of our cabin

The day ended as she set the alarm for an early meditation class...I set it for sleep. It was getting colder as we were well into Autumn and my Floridian blood was not in a get up 'n meditate early mood.

Anxiety

I am preparing for my training under Dr. Weiss. I am starting to feel completely out of sorts. I know I should just chill and relax about this awesome experience. But, somehow I feel as if the "other kids" are so ahead of me...like I am a pre-schooler attending my first day at high-school. I'm trying to just clear my mind and await whatever comes through this experience. Hopefully I will just be able to settle into this and allow my analytical ego to take a vacation. I know I have done an amazing about face in my spiritual journey. All I have taken as "truth" has now been put aside. I am questioning everything man has told me, especially the church and my parents. Crap--I'm 55 and I am finally starting to think for myself? Is this crazy?

Tomorrow I will meet my roommate for the next 6 days. Will she be a freak...a psychic... a Weiss groupie?

I will attend workshops-and break bread with others on this same soul's journey. Like a kid attending camp I have a nervous twittering in my stomach. Yes, I am very anxious. I want to uncover so much of ME. I am ready..but damn it I'm nervous as hell!

Wealthy Kid

Dawn is the perfect time to encounter past life memories we have stored from our critical thinking selves.
The world around me is in slumber and I am slowly becoming aware that I am in my bed. I always inquire "please show me something of my past that can teach me today."
As I waited for the quickly moving shapes to form I was seized by a thought. It repeated itself as the fractured colored shapes assembled into a table with all of my siblings seated. It was a birthday of a family member. The gifts were very sparse, no decorative festivity--just another day in my parents home.
However, over and over again I was aware that the gift was "family".  It was relational.
I waited for more to come as usually that image will melt into another, but this remained. You have  known wealth, it is not about the things to unwrap-- you have been given much.
I awoke and stayed silent in my room. I thought of this and how I have just bought roller-blades for my granddaughter's 9th birthday. I fretted over what to buy her, even the paper in which to wrap it. But now I feel myself grinning. She has a room of her own filled with things. I shared it with 4 sisters until the age of 18--and we had no bounty of "things". We had each other. And I need to share that insight--this is my gift.

Training with Dr. Weiss

Ok...so months ago I signed up for a 5 day professional training with Dr. Weiss author of Many Lives Many Masters and several other past life regression books. Here is the info on the workshop site.

Brian Weiss, MD, is chairman emeritus of psychiatry at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami and the nation’s leading authority on past-life regression therapy. He is the author of eight books, including the best-selling Many Lives, Many Masters. His newest book, Same Soul, Many Bodies, expands the scope of regression therapy into future lives and the Earth’s future. BrianWeiss.com

Many people sign up for his training, it happens only twice a year. The class filled up quickly- sold out. It will take place this year in NY. I put myself on the waiting list months ago--it was a shrug, no more thought went into it as I knew it was a long shot. But today I got the call--someone backed out and I AM GOING!

I am pretty thrilled and I look forward with as much excitement I had at age 5 on Christmas morning.
I know a gift is about to land in my lap!
Read on if you want to see where I am headed in October...
http://eomega.org/omega/workshops/46d5b6a9004c285734b47daf7f56ea3e/

Such a cry baby

Whenever I follow the steps into hypnosis, I feel myself lifting and drifting. It's kinda that state between awake and asleep. Obviously it relaxes the person totally, but it also calms your whole being. It's like being in some protective cocoon. It's peaceful and I am always just in silent stillness. Today I simply tried to clear my mind, no agendas. I am told often to just focus with my subconscious self on whatever appears. Not to try to imagine anything, just let the images come into my vision. Sometimes it feels like I am watching a movie from afar--or sometime it's more like I am seeing with my own eyes. Today's clear sharp vision was very unexpected. I saw myself as a baby crying. I was just dazzled by the image of myself. I held it as long as I could before my analytical mind interrupted the trance.  The statement given to me on the CD always says "you will now journey back to a memory from a past having a significant impact on your life today." Seeing myself crying and nose running as a baby- I was just astonished--that snapped me away from the image and I had to relax all over again. As I was looking at a home with a picket fence and a porch swing I saw a women up close in profile. She had medium length brown hair and reminded me of someone in the 1950's. She meant nothing to me, or better yet, I do not feel any close association with her. I then saw a car ( I don't know makes and models) the car was light green, and had a different color top, maybe white. He had on what looked like a bomber style leather jacket- his hair was kind of greasy on purpose, like he used a styling mixture. He was unloading something out of the car. It looked like gifts or boxes. As I tried to identify him- again my mind popped me away from the scene. After being unable to calm myself into a trance I awoke.
I am so new at this and I am really just trying to allow my mind to float. I guess it will take time to just experience the images that are playing out and then teach myself to analyze upon awaking.
I am always very refreshed yet disoriented. Today I was still buzzed about seeing myself as a small baby- I looked very young maybe a year old. I had on a dress of blue, I had blond hair, blue eyes. So amazing to know without a doubt it was ME. My parents have no real clear photos of me as a baby. They stopped keeping baby photos after baby number 4...I am #5 out of 8.
Why am I doing this? Much has happened in my life. I see patterns and I am always having amazing experiences that seem to just come into my life for a season. I want to know what I am supposed to take from these. I am not a teacher, nor have I ever wanted to be one...I am a learner. So this is my new "find some reason damn it" season.

Another Session

As I comfortably settled into a trance through my hypnotist Nancy, I was able to see a scene play out that became cloudy in my vision, like a smudge on well cleaned glasses. She spoke to the "smudge" referring to it as a block. She gave me clear direction at the count of 3 to tell her what number I see. I said 11. She said at the count of  three be there at age 11, what do you see. I saw myself in a classroom. I started to feel awkward in sharing my experience with her. I was unable to do what the other kids were doing. Effortlessly they excelled academically where I faltered. She spoke to this block and asked it how it applies to my life today. I shared that I felt I could not go into past lives as easily as the people in the research I was reading...hence I coud not "do it like the other kids". She helped me clear that block and on I went seeing myself in a field...the scene was again unclear, a soft unfocused haze. She again counted me down and asked what age I was. 3 was the number that appeared quickly--where are you? she asked...hiding under the bed I said, why?.. the doctor is here to draw blood for a test and I am hiding from my parents. What test? I have mono and they need my blood sample. How does this apply today? I need to protect myself. Protect yourself from what? There was an evil presence in  my bedroom...about 10 years ago. Was it a night mare? I am not sure... it felt real, it felt evil. How is this related to your life today? I feel afraid to see past lives, as this evil may lurk there. She talked to this block and had me recognize that the thoughts were connected, then she had me imagine myself sucking this thought out of my body like a big swoosy vacuum.  Then BAM, the image was clear and sharp.

I was running I was in a field.
On the count of three tell me where you are geographically.
I don't know.
What is your name? Seth. How old are you? 30.
What is going on? I see fire..a village is smoldering, I see ruins. I smell smoke.
What do you feel about this  fire? Not much.I will move you forward a bit in time  on the count of 3 where are you?
My head is spinning. It's ok, she says,  that is your mind protecting you-it's just trying to distract you, breathe deeply through this.
 On the count of 3 , where are you?
I am running...I am being hunted. I see myself from above. I have torn clothes, bare feet, a dirty shirt. I have long brown hair. My head is spinning.
It's okay breathe deeply. What is happening?
I am in a gorge...trapped...no way out. Men are behind me. They have weapons, they are wearing armor.
At the count of 3 move a bit past this scene. What do you see?
I am above my body. Men are over my body on the ground. I am dead.
I am above myself. I am safe now.
Oh...I set the village on fire.
Why?
They killed my father.
What did you learn in this lifetime as Seth.
I used people, I was a user. Violence is stupid, it causes pain.
Where are you now?
I am in a white light.

She woke me from the trance and we had a good discussion.
 She explained that I removed myself and saw myself running from above because I did not want to relive the death scene. I saw everything so vividly... myself running, there was water, a lake perhaps..not an ocean. An a thick stand of trees and a path. The trees from above looked like pine.
It was an amazing experience.

I have been meditating daily.  I follow the instructions for self hypnosis. It is easy for me as I use Nancy's tape--her voice--identical to the way she puts me into a trance in her office.

Recently I have seen a dear friend... Colin. He appeears with long gray hair, a metal head piece, wearing a purple blue tunic. He is frowning. He is dear to me in this past lifetime, as well as today. I trust him completely.
I have seen my daughter, only she feels like she is not my daughter, but an elder person over me, perhaps a parent..not sure.

I'm still learning. This has upended my entire belief system.

I no longer consider myself a Christian.
I am on a journey.
I am here on earth now.
I will be here again.

Mosaics

Today I attempted a past life regression. I meditated with a CD and became quite comfy in my white cocoon of protective light. I waited for the imagery to appear, where was I -- what was the date -- who was I? Slowly swirling lights and graphic shapes became sort of dancing into view. As I realized I was just watching dancing graphic cloudy shapes, I started to kind of talk to myself about the images. Why are you showing me foggy fire-like shadows-oh wait that looks like a silhouette of a palm tree against a stormy sky. I watched the palm tree, the storm come into view and then vanish. I waited and was thinking about the bright robin egg blue light that was forming in the distance when slowly it became a broken tiled floor- a mosaic floor with missing tiles- a dirty floor, with a very old cast iron bathtub. I was looking at the tub and it vanished more shadows, more red fiery images--bright reds, glowing oranges, then a hillside and a man with fair hair looking over his shoulder at me--he was wearing clothes that had fabric over one shoulder-maybe a sash and a long sleeved white shirt. And then he disappeared into a fog of light--then a cat meowed out my bedroom door and bam I was awake...damn cat. But as I waited to focus, stretch and rise- I thought of the man. I did not know him--but he was wearing the same color of the tiled floor pieces. Same blue. Only fragments and shapes today...what is this mosaic in my life?

What's up with the cave?

Each day is a journey. I start with a meditation CD and allow myself to sink into a deep relaxation. I listen to the therapist instruct me into reaching toward a memory stored in my past. Connecting to "my soul's truth" she calls it. Images appear, sometimes like a dream sometimes very sharp and clear. They continue to be a cave with sunlight streaming in. I cannot leave the cave--I have tried. But recently directly after the cave, I saw myself as a young girl in my parents house looking out the window at other children playing. I think I was around 10. They were taunting me because I had been sent to my room and was not allowed outdoors. I didn't think of this until after the meditation. What is with the cave and me as a young girl on a summer happy day being cooped up in my room hearing laughter?
Then yesterday I saw several images very clear. Myself as a young child trying to mount a black horse-I kept hopping trying to get my foot in stirrup as the horse danced in circles--then myself high up on a cliff looking down to a beautiful shore. I knew instinctively there was no way down the cliff and I stood there feeling--oh great...no way down.

Many Lives Many Masters

I shared my energy massage experience with a neighbor (not even realizing she had experience with this) and she told me to read a book Many Lives Many Masters by Dr. Brian L. Weiss. I did and something about this book clicked. Soon I was using meditation CDs daily. I began my quest to go back and visit my past life experiences. I decided to seek professional help and discovered someone who uses regression hypnosis as a tool. I made an appointment with Nancy Canning and tried very hard to clear my mind as she is clairvoyant and I wanted a blank slate.
She taped my session. After taking all of my generic history-age, parents name, siblings, children marital status, etc - she explained the procedure. She explained I would remain conscious and totally in control--and NO I could not get "stuck" in a trance or be told to bark like a dog or other Vegas type antics.
She darkened the room and began to instruct me with clues to a deep relaxation, using Yoga breathing which I was familiar with. The session lasted 90 minutes. As I have listened to the recording twice I am still digesting what I heard myself say.
I was unable to travel back at first--and she helped me discover why my mind was setting up blocks. She took me back to age 6 when I felt I needed to analyze every situation. I was told to answer the phone and lie to a bill collector for my parents--apparently this was a trauma for me (crap I never thought twice about it--or did I?) Again another block age 16 a Ouija board--I kept asking it when I would marry and whom--DIE...DEATH...DEAD it spelled every time I played, hence I literally took an ax to it and chopped it up and then burned it in my back yard--and bam into the church I flew. So after helping me recognize my barriors, she was able to take me back and address my leg pain. She actually talked to the pain and asked when it first appeared and why. I then saw images-- dry grass, trees, a forest with deep shadows, me behind a line of men marching, saw the backs and knew I was a part of the group. We were ambushed, I saw spears, clouds of dust and I began to cry feeling the pain of the men. I had no clue as to my location or what anyone including myself was wearing. She then asked me to move ahead--I saw rocks, then fur like a hide of an animal, then I saw an ocean below me and finally I was in a cave with a sunny entrance beyond where I could see nothing but strong sunlight. She kept talking all the while to the leg pain asking-why it came what was it's purpose-I replied "to stop her" stop her from what-what was going on in your life in  2006? -- "I was going to Scotland I have done ancestry research and the land was calling me. She said think of a specific place that calls you now--the name Aberdeen appeared like a movie screen white type on black screen. She said--where is this? Scotland I said--it feels like home. I kind of teared up and was unable to talk much more. Nancy then brought me back to the present time where I stretched and came awake.  She said she felt a sense that the leg pain was stopping me from going to the UK as I had a fear I would not return to America. Oh well, this was her thoughts and I am still letting all of this experience settle into me... I'll keep writing as I now meditate daily using regression CDs.

It all began

I went to a women's Herbal Symposium-stayed in a  tepee with 5 women (daughter with me) the weather was cold and rainy for 3 straight days and dipped to 32º in evening on night before I left, I wandered over to the "wellness tent" where first aid and general advice for problematic health issues was dispensed they also gave wonderful massages and just lots of women pampering. I was cold and ready to go.  I signed my name up for a massage and when i went to my appointed time. It was pouring the talent show which is annually held around the campfire was moved within the "wellness tent" and they were canceling all massages my masseuse asked if I could reschedule--and as I was leaving next day she agreed to just do a massage on table in corner out of the way.
Microphones were setting up--crowd was sitting-kids singing-instruments tuning
I was there for a nice body massage ( my fellow tent person gave me a neck massage on day 1 as she is also in the massage therapy field) so here I lay all ready for nice Spa treatment
~
She told me to close my eyes and asked if I had any specific health issues
I said yes, chronic pain in right leg for years--she said concentrate on the pain and describe it and do this with eyes shut and breathing through the pain. I just lay there waiting for all the rubbing of tired cold achy muscles to commence and thought of my leg nothing--no touching occurred
I felt immense heat at my toes and ankles and peeked to see her standing at my feet eyes shut hands out and mumbling. great...so this was my "energy massage"
crap
she told me keep breathing and not to worry all was going fine. I stayed still and concentrated on my leg. The room was now loud crazy talent show going on --as she moved up to my sides I felt a rush of shivering coldness
I was startled and I tensed
she spoke calming me and asked me to keep doing deep breathing
as she moved to my head I was shivering and she got more blankets
I started to feel... and this part was freaky
I felt wind in my face like i was in the rain at the helm of a ship--or a moving open air vehicle--sounds odd but I began to cry and was shivering, she told me just relax and concentrate on my leg
she massaged my temples and I started to feel better--warmer slightly
she then kept speaking softly and told me to think of any sounds-tastes-images-smells that were associated with my leg pain. she moved around me slowly and ended by long warm strokes on legs and arms, tapped me and told me to rise when I was able
I was drained
I couldn't rise yet and she went to get me OJ
I was so out of sorts with what just took place
what just DID happen to me?
where was my spa treatment--and what the hell good is an "energy massage" that leaves you drained?
she came back and said
"tell me about Scotland"
huh? scotland?
yes
what can you tell me about Scotland?
well I'm doing ancestry research and I have tried to connect some dots because I feel drawn there
yes she said you are
ok i said are you a seer?
tell me more about what you just felt
wait I said
why scotland?
she said I saw you there
okkkkk I have visited it and I was doing a watercolor for the Historical Society of Scotland
yes--well you will not find this answer in any books she laughed
what happened to me?
you fought in the battle of Culloden (she pronounced it wrong KILL I DIN ) and you have a deep deep wound that you have just connected with
wait Isaid
I dreamed a painting of the battlefield and sketched it before my trip to Scotland--when I was at Culloden it was a muddy empty moor and the tourist group almost left without me--i couldn't leave the place stunned that i had sketched in the US what i had dreamed and now saw it in person -same landscape-- I could teach a class on this event 4,500 men died in 45 minutes and the clan system died that day along with the freedom to where their tartans
yes she said no doubt
you have a pattern
Ibelieve you run away
run away?
yes a pattern--you tend to run
I said I was a fast runner as a child...
no run away from things in your life
oh
i just moved to Key West
yes, I think you may have left the battlefield wounded
crap
so wait...
you see me from fighting in 1744 and i have a wound in my leg?
yes
wait...I'M A GUY???
yes
I cannot deal with this
I know she said
you need to find someone that can continue helping you with this pain--an eastern medicine energy masseuse but that's only IF you ever have it again
wait--you think it will be gone?
very much so
I saw auras and you are a very very strong person who needs to tap that strength and open that door
yikes--this is way tooo heavy for me
ok I know let me take your email info and i will send you some info
in the meantime
journal-write everything about your leg--every item is a clue as to what brings it on
crap--can't you just massage the hell out of it?
I called upon spiritual healers and spirits to assist and guide you in this journey to help you find the connection to the pain
great--I don't believe in that
well that's ok---they were here
ummm ok
thanks....i'll keep ya posted on my pain

I walked in a daze back to my tent pondering the experience
I woke very early
it was freezing cold and misty
a few had gathered around the campfire
she was sitting alone--her name is Marg she is from Canada and i really think I was meant to have met her--it was her first trip to this even as well as mine
she sat and smiled
I sat beside her and said this is all pretty damn freaky
she gave me a name of a book FOCUS
I said ok--if you have helped eradicate my leg pain-- I will be thrilled and read any book you want to throw at me
I told her dragonflies seem to be following me for a few yrs now--hell I have them in my own graphic artist logo now and have them as refrigerator magnets and they have even followed me into a restaurant LADIES ROOM!
she smiled and said--yep dragonflies that stay near is the sign of a person strong in the spirits
hell i thought it was dad
:)