A Pause

I have been doing a lot of wondering...about myself. Who I am. Where I came from. It reminded me of the small tiny cocoon I had been watching outside my window.
For years I have lived in this cocoon fast asleep. Unaware that my energy was waiting for me to tap into it. Recently I have discovered I had wings. Slowly they are unfolding. They appear wet and I am still in the drying phase. I am trying to get off the ground. Reading, meditating and taking time to pause.

I have no destination. I don't know my way. I am searching and carefully following my instincts. Although I appear unsure as I am gathering my wings, one thing is certain. I WILL fly.

Exploring my Akashic Record

As I have previously mentioned I have been following the work of Gregory Haye with spiritualists Mick and Sylvia Avery. How did I discover this? I believe I was led to listen to Gregory's messages on the radio, by my guides. When I meditate I am always asking for clear direction. I want to know my purpose. My gifts and talents--what are they, and how should I be using them in this life? I know that I am connected to a higher Source. Crap, I have been talking to this Source since I was very young. I would lean back on my swing and talk to the sky...I would ride my bike to my "secret spot" where I felt safe and alone and could communicate without fear of ridicule. My guides led me to download these podcasts which are broadcast in the UK. And now I have finally made an appointment after listening to well over 20 of his 45 min. programs.

I have many questions to ask Gregory. Do I think he will have all the answers?  No I believe I hold the answers and I am starting to discover them within myself. But I do believe this is another tool to assist me in unlocking my beautiful Spirit. I look forward to this with an open heart. I hope I can help others by what I discover.

A Visit from My Mind

Meditating has been such a rewarding experience for me. I can see that it has become a necessary part of my daily routine...very natural, like breathing.
As I stated in earlier posts, I have the best results during my Delta state at early dawn. I had such an unusual vision that I needed a few days to sort it out. As I write this I am still sorting this out.
It always begins the same for me. Not always...as in the first days, weeks or even months when I began, but since I came back from the Omega training with Dr. Weiss. I begin to ask for protection for myself and encase myself in a white light. As I am talking to myself I ask my Spiritual Guides for assistance and ask my Angels to teach me something. I also ask to see something of my past that will explain who I am today. This always begins with me seeing sparkling water.

As if I am moving over it from above I am traveling. It dances with twinkling lights of reflection. This tells me that I will soon see an image. If I do not see an image I stay with this and begin to ask questions. As I ask questions sometimes a light will appear and sort of wave across my vision or grow bright robin egg blue. As I was watching the flickering lights on the water, I realized I would not be going on a journey in time. I started to address my Guides and Angels and asked for help. Can you help me? What is my purpose, my task? Why has my Soul come? The dancing water darkened and the vision went perfectly black. I was silent as I watched the darkness, just enjoying the stillness. And then without really realizing what was happening I saw a book. It appeared in the top left of my "screen" (I think in graphic design mode, forgive my description) and it was slid down. It was a shiny gloss cover and it had white lettering. The title read "I KNOW" as I read the title I was surprised as it then slid off the same way it came. I asked...is this MY book? Is this a book I need to read? What is this book?

I have been writing a book, it is in rough outline and my story is unfolding. And in an instant a voice spoke very clearly spoke.
"You will learn to eat" with laughter following. The laughter was like many voices recorded and played at warp speed.  I was astonished. I will learn to eat?
I stayed with this dark blank screen and asked a few more questions. I heard nothing more. I saw the water appear once again but it just remained. I always feel as if I am above it just moving over it looking down upon it.
I thanked my Guides and Angels and said goodbye. I brought myself awake telling myself I would remember all of what I saw and feel refreshed. As I laid there pondering my experience I was still in disbelief. I HEARD A VOICE--with laughter!.....I SAW A BOOK--slid to me in a way that it felt as if it was presented to me.
The book said I Know. Is this me telling myself I Know? After having some interesting regressions and trying to piece those visions together, this has really baffled me. I never expected this....a message from ME.

6th Sensory Living

I am beginning to become more aware of my intuitive nature. I just thought it was everyday common sense. But I am starting to pay attention to the synchronicities in my daily living. Patterns that keep appearing. Like stars...and starfish.  Small messages from my higher self. Upon daily meditation I now ask to heighten my vibration of energy, to connect with my spiritual guides. It makes perfect sense that this web site which broadcasts people like Gregory Haye, would have been placed in my path. Perhaps you are curious, perhaps you will have disbelief. But if you would like to have a glimpse of what a medium is channeling from a Spiritual Guide who gives great insight, you may want to spend some time with Gregory Haye.

Dragonflies seem to follow me everywhere. Even indoors.

As I work on my artwork, I often listen to the radio or beautiful music. I have just recently started listening to these podcasts with Gregory and this is helping me get in touch with my 6th sense. I used to believe this sense was for special "gifted" individuals. I am slowly waking up to my own abilities... abilities which we ALL have and are created with.
For many years dragonflies have appeared in the most unusual circumstances. Although I do not see anything magical about them. For me they have become like friends that are connected to me. Perhaps they come to direct me to my spiritual guides. Perhaps they like my scent, or I am imagining all of this, it doesn't really matter. They always bring a smile. A constant reminder that I am never alone.
Link to Gregory Haye Podcast.

I was Hunted

I will take time off from writing about Omega because I had an experience I need to get down on paper--or cloud so to say.

As you know, if you have been following my blog, I practice self hypnosis daily. My best sessions, the ones that are the clearest (no-fog, no hazy blurry images, no partial grayness) come at my Delta state each morning. I am not awake nor asleep. My subconscious mind is front and center my analytical self in the background. Two days ago I saw a computer screen with my entire life in sections on the page. Like NPR or some media station with all of the categories. Headline was my name, only it started with a V. Small sections of Family, Career, School all a click away. I was amazed as I scrolled and saw my birth date off to the side with a link. I scrolled and saw a photo of a man who looked Arabic frowning back at me. That was all I saw before quickly coming awake (morning noises woke me.) Yesterday I saw a filing cabinet with hanging files. Each file was a sleeve with CD's containing data...MY DATA. Each one labeled...childhood, school, relationships. I was just astonished at this and again I woke as morning sounds filtered into my consciousness.
Today was something that was altogether different. It felt what I can only describe as supernatural.
 I found myself in a loft in straw, it was black and children were with me whimpering and crying. I was trying to calm them and quiet them as I knew we were being hunted. I saw a light outside through the opening in the barn. We were up above and someone with a light was searching for us. The children were older and some were females. I knew instinctively I was a young boy.

Suddenly and very intensely I was in a field. The colors were so vivid. It was the morning after a storm. A huge gnarled tree with a very large root protruding was to my right. I was aware that I had actually regressed and kept saying to myself.."you are here...you made it" I looked at my feet, I was wearing small boots, I was in a sort of uniform with a neck scarf. I was being hunted by a man. He was a German military man. He wore a trench coat. He smoked cigarettes. I smelled the dampness of the ground and felt the fear of being hunted. I was running and all the time amazed at the color of the sky. It looked like indigo ink spilled down into pinks. The tree was bare of leaves and it looked skeletal against the forbidding background. The grass was tall and green. Next I was high above myself and watched this man cross the stream back and forth following me.

A close up showed me him smoking and rubbing two coins together. I knew immediately he had stolen them from me. I recognized his face as someone in this current life. Someone who has abused me in the past. The realization was just that--a fact. I didn't analyze it, my training with Dr. Weiss told just experience the regression and let it unfold watch and remain quiet. I kept seeing myself as a young boy in a type of uniform trying to escape this military man. I did not feel like we were related. He was not a brother or father or anyone I had a feeling for. I never felt German. I knew I was trying to get away. I saw from above the distance between us closing. It's as if this unraveled in normal motion but in a jump ahead in time.
And then morning noises interrupted me and my trance was broken. I tried to slow my breathing as I was in an excited state. I tried to calm myself back into a deep state, but it was useless.
Now is the time for the analyzing. I thought about where I was, I never asked myself while in the trance for a location, or my name, or the name of the man chasing me. I have been taught that I can always go back and relive that experience to glean more information. And so I will.
Later in the afternoon I did another meditation, this one for healing of loved ones and myself. I saw an image of a train car on tracks. It was an old train. I saw nothing else.
This is the beginning of my discovery into finding who I am. My soul's journey is unique because there is only one me. I hope by doing this I can help others with healing. I hope that by writing this blog it will help others find their own path to inner peace.

Helen was a Jedi

The morning was crisp and I made my way to breakfast. Coffee and I are soul mates. I splashed some half n' half and found a seat near smiling people. Buzzing room chatter was our morning music--I happened to like this station...so I tuned in. People were discussing their various classes. I saw animated figures recalling their experiences with flaying hands attached to attentive heads who were all ears. This  was one of the most enjoyable parts of the day. Just being with a group of people so happy to be alive.

I headed for the Main Hall and took my place between my two pals Rachel from Ireland, and Helen from Long Beach, CA. Helen is always all smiles-she is radiant. We each bring a bottle of water-which one of us always ends up spilling...we say "did you wet yourself..or did I?" I was all excited to see her because the night before I had a dream about the future...and she was in it! The dream was so enthralling I awoke wanting to draw or paint what I had seen. It was in a neighborhood on Halloween. Many children and parents were bustling about. Each parent was with a child in a hovering craft. The floated above the ground and they were designed to match the costume. I watched several go by me. Each unique and very colorful with themes matching the costumes. As a Jedi woman walked past me she was holding the hand of a small boy. He was about four and dressed as a Wookie climbing into the seat beside his mother. It was Helen! The Helen that was sitting next to me each day at Omega. I studied the craft and how it intertwined with her costume. A jungle of camouflage. It was as if the scenery blended into their costumes or they into it--not sure. As I now sat beside Helen I recalled the dream. "I want that painting!" she said. We laughed and yet I thought about the concept of what the dream was about. It was something perfect for a children's Sci-Fi book. I have also had these dreams of amazing ideas from time to time and I have to rise from my bed and sketch what I have seen. This was one of those times. We were told to tell others if we saw them in our daily meditations or dreams. And so I told Helen and she just sat and laughed. She has a infectious laugh and we had to shush ourselves lest we disturb our neighbors all preparing for today's workshop.

I wrote this on our board to inform our group

 We did a morning session of regression and meditation. It was the same for me. I saw leaves, trees, water, and a forest. I awoke and felt frustrated. No people. Dr. Weiss always tells us to look at our feet...no feet for me...look at what your wearing...cannot see myself...look around you are there people?...nope, no people...just lots of leaves and water and sun and earth.

We took a break and he asked the audience for a volunteer to try a rapid induction method. I raised my hand as I was eager to try this method. I had read about this, knowing I had a strong analytical mind, I always had to send that part of my brain to the back of the room so I could just experience and not think about what I was seeing. He looked at me and said--"Oh that was quick, do you want to come up?" I nodded and he invited me up on stage. Crap...I forgot there would be people watching me. My mouth went dry and my heart beats became so loud I was sure his microphone would pick them up. What do I do now? I want to do this..but shouldn't they draw a curtain or something? Yikes...
...to be continued

No Gardens for Me

I detoxed myself from television back in 2005...so my "unplugged" experience was refreshing. I saw a woman from our group in the middle of a field close to our workshop trying to use her cell phone. It was a large empty field with her cradling her tiny metal world connector straining to reach earth. I yelled over to her "can you hear me now?" She smiled and gave me the "V" sign...a Verizon response to the question. Funny, that ad must still be running...either that or my mental powers are kickn' in :)

Omega's Falling Leaves-Photo by Linda Connolly

The morning session began with Carole leading us on a wonderful journey of meditation. I was drifting through the trance and my mind danced over images of flowers she was directing us through. She named each plant as they were arranged according to their colors. The room was quiet, music softly playing all of us lying in a dark room relaxed. As I was doing the meditation I asked a question to my spiritual guides (the ones I knew were there but have never seen) and I was given a response. My question was simple--what do you want to show or tell me at this moment? Softly I heard murmuring as if several people were talking--I started to feel my analytical mind question this--are people around me talking during meditation? Then an answer very clearly--a thought repeated over and over..."You are loved, You are missed...You are loved, You are missed" My eyes began to tear up as I thought of my parents who have both passed. I miss them dearly and I have been visited in my dreams occasionally by my father--assuring me he is well and loves me. The session ended and my pal Rachel shared what she saw, people around the room were now softly talking as it was time for a break.

Can you hear me now field? -photo by Tammy Bassrey

The afternoon session was really enlightening. Carol chose a volunteer to place into a trance and we watched the process. The volunteer was a women named Cindy who has been suffering with back pain. This is done to show us the technique used to place someone into a deep relaxed state. Then the person leading will ask questions and allow the patient to discuss what they are seeing. The person in the trance can wake anytime, although they sometimes feel anxiety, every regression is always done step by step. "Is it ok if we go back to a childhood memory?" " Is it ok if we explore what happened to you later?" Always slowly with full permission. Cindy's experience was dramatic as she was describing being crushed onto a train during the Holocaust. Torn form her children and watching her loved ones slowly die, her story was one I was very familiar with (I have personally worked with Holocaust survivors and many are friends). She was born in Poland she was as a nurse and her husband was a Dr. They eventually perished in the camp.  She was emotional and so were the rest of us observing her. She awoke and there was a question and answer time. I was touched by her sincerity. I feel as if everyone of us was beside her, our energies uniting to comfort her.
I went to lunch and sat with amazing people. I think if I only had the food on the menu to look forward to, I would have lost 20lbs easily. But the people who I conversed with were the most savoring part of each meal. We laughed and cried...and then nibbled on tofu...and lettuce...and sunflower seeds.
The afternoon session was a wonderful regression for us. I had been seeing leaves, babbling brooks, waterfalls, trees, streaming sun, fluttering shadows, rocks...and today..more of the same. Dr. Weiss told me to go to a staircase, I found a step ladder. He told me to find a garden...I found leaves and mud. He said look at the door and enter it...mine was a window. I entered and found myself in a circular brick tower with black iron gates. Crap...no people...stuck in a a stoned tower. I awoke and just felt curious. What is with me? Do I have a problem following his direction...nope I have listened to CDs and have worked with a therapist. Every induction they tell me to imagine a garden, or door or stair case... good luck...I obviously am wired to find the opposite. Oh well, I am learning to ignore them and go off on my own. Hell, mud and leaves are better than complete darkness. Maybe my garden is just Nature.
I wandered to dinner where I found myself drawn to certain energies in the room. Did I say drawn? So, am I actually starting to tune into my Vibes? Oh...so maybe something is clicking after all. ...to be continued